Singles Alert: Marriage in the End Times-Choose Wisely

Take a moment to picture what your marriage would be like. For the ladies you'll have your handsome husband or for the guys your beautiful wife, decent careers, ministries, a home, kids and a picket fence. Sprinkle in a dog and a car for the both of you and you have the ideal marriage by many standards. Some of you think of something along the lines of your parents' or your grandparents' marriages, that old school love. That "Good Times" to "The Jeffersons" kind of love. Maybe you are more 90s and want that Martin and Gina kind of marriage. Maybe you want a little bit of all of these scenarios.

I want you to take whatever perception you have of your marriage and take out anything that is of the world. Keep in mind physical beauty is of the world, money, nice clothes, fancy jobs--you name it. All you are left with are each other. You want to make sure you are left with a person who will still be of value after all of those things are stripped away.

This may sound a little nerdy of me, but I'll risk it. Your life at this point could make a pretty good comic series or tv show. You are a superhero sent to this earth from another planet. For all intents and purposes let's call your home, your planet, Heaven. You were sent to earth and given powers by God through the Holy Spirit to save people. There are other heroes on earth, but they have been brainwashed by the villain who is satan. They don't even know they are superheroes anymore and they are not aware of their superpowers. God gave you this assignment because at one point He came down to earth as Jesus Christ to save you when you were brainwashed. He knows you are the best person for the job because you've been through it. Your mission given to you by your father and boss, God, is to reverse the brainwashing imposed on your super friends by loving them and allowing yourself to be a vessel so the super powers of God can work through you, which is the Holy Spirit.

Now superman and superwoman, it's time to find your partner. God made one person just for you. That person's superpowers mixed with your superpowers can do some serious damage! So of course the villain satan is trying to do everything he can to stop you two from meeting. So satan's strategy is to send decoys. He puts villains in superhero clothing so on the outside they look like you. But remember this: Anyone can put on the outfit of a superhero but not everyone can handle having the superpowers a hero has. Decoys can walk around and play church as long as there is an audience, but they haven't received the Holy Spirit. On top of that they don't know the responsibilities and trails that comes from having the Holy Spirit.

The villain's second strategy is to convince you to reject the superman/superwoman God has for you. Of course he does this through brainwashing. This is why everywhere you walk there are images, tv shows, social media posts, and commercials convincing you to pick men and women who tempt the flesh but does nothing for your spirit. Think about the superheroes we see in pop culture. Although many comic books and movies tend to romanticize their looks, superheroes still stand out from society. A heroes' attire is different, style is different, and even the language of a hero is different. The villain satan hates all of what makes you different so he uses his brainwashing tools to convince you to reject your different features. From this he wants you to seek to be more like the majority and in doing so you find a mate who is a part of the majority. But God doesn't want you with someone who is a part of the majority. The person He has for you is unique, like you.

Let's step away from this comic strip for a moment. Here's how I define marriage: my future husband and I will be fighting the principalities of this world to get to Heaven while taking as many people with us as possible. With this definition in mind, let me be blunt. Finding a spouse based on their looks is like finding a college based on the amount of parties the school throws every weekend. It sounds fun, but the purpose of college is for education and somewhere down the road you'll realize your reasoning versus the real purpose will conflict. This is the same with marriage. Looks are only one department. If we are not grounded in God we will turn down the right person or let in the wrong person based on looks. Looks will fade. God guarantees that in the Bible. We have to be at a point where we are willing to trust that God knows what is best for us--not hip hop, not the magazines, not even us.

The Dangers of Being with the Wrong Person

Nothing saddens me more than watching loved ones entertaining the wrong person. Soul ties are a powerful thing, and without Jesus Christ soul ties with the wrong person is potent. Satan always sends counterfeits before God sends the right one, and many of you reading this are with the counterfeit. The sad part about it is many of you don't know what love really is because many of you don't know who God really is, and God is love. Instead of allowing God to teach you true love, we let poisonous demonic principalities speak in our spirits everyday convincing us to accept a watered down rootless love that blows away as soon as a storm comes. This causes many of us to fall in love with cardboard beings that merely blow away as soon as hard times occur. One of satan's main goals is to dilute true love. That way we chase after the fake and neglect the real, who is God. If you don't believe me, try to name one hip-hop or R&B song old or new that doesn't talk about relationships. It's nearly impossible! And love is covered in the same way. Love is reduced to the physical. And we being made in God's image desperately try to seek for something deeper after the emptiness we feel when the physical has occurred. So that leaves many of us trying to build a foundation with the little blocks we have. We try to create something emotional with something physical. We basically try to build houses with straw instead of bricks. It may last for a little bit, but the moment life begins to take its toll, "playing house" blows away leaving you with a big mess to clean up. Some of us try to sweep that mess under the rug and immediately invite someone else in to try over again. God wants to clean that mess up for us. He wants to build a brick foundation in our hearts. Satan tries to appeal to the physical because that's all he can offer--temporary pleasures of this world. But God offers an everlasting fulfillment. All we have to do is build that foundation with Him, and this requires us to resist the physical temptations for a season and focus on the spiritual.

Of course that would be too much like right! That's the last thing satan wants us to do. This is why he dangles the guy or girl of your dreams in your face. Or even worse he brings back that ex who always had your heart. Suddenly that person understands their mistakes and wants to try again. Resist!!! Save yourself for the best! God is worth it. I recently started a fast because God told me to pray for my future husband since he is going through a purging season. God told me to ask the Holy Spirit every morning what I need to pray about in his life. For example one morning God told me to pray for my future husband's family and another day He wanted me to pray for his outlook on his current situation. God then leads me to a verse in Proverbs 31 and I meditate on it. Since I started this fast, men I dated years ago have came out of the blue wanting to know how I'm doing. One guy told me God put me in his spirit and we need to catch up. All I could think was "it wasn't God who put me in your spirit!" I told my best friend about this and how it was really cheap attempts from satan. I had no interest in these men, so I saw this as stupid attempts by satan. So what does the enemy do? Step up the warfare even more. One day I was walking my dog and I bumped into a guy who I would have been in love with if I wasn't saved. He looked like a guy I would have drooled over many years ago. Even worse, he invited me to go to a Bulls game with him! (Everyone who knows me knows I looove the Chicago Bulls). I shared this to show the great lengths the enemy will go through to turn you away from your true love, Jesus Christ.

As our parents used to say, some of us still think "fat meat aint greasy." Some of us think we can just date who we please without consequences. Even worse many of us have gotten used to heartbreak and no longer see that as a reason not to partake in the desires of our flesh. But there are many more dangerous reasons why you should not give yourself to the wrong person.

Daniel was a faithful man of God so He blessed him. This was the time when Israel was under control of Babylon. King Darius appointed Daniel to be 1 of out 3 administrators over 120 satraps (these people were like governors). Of course this sparked up jealously among the satraps. God blessed a foreigner to have power over governors in their own home! Many would be jealous. To make a long story short, the satraps decided to try to manipulate the king to have Daniel murdered. So they asked the king,

Daniel 6:6-8: May King Darius live forever!  The royal administrators, prefects, satraps, advisers and governors have all agreed that the king should issue an edict and enforce the decree that anyone who prays to any god or human being during the next thirty days, except to you, Your Majesty, shall be thrown into the lions’ den. Now, Your Majesty, issue the decree and put it in writing so that it cannot be altered—in accordance with the law of the Medes and Persians, which cannot be repealed.”

The king agreed. Of course Daniel wasn't going to let a law stop him from praying to God. The satraps saw Daniel praying and reported it to the king. God gave Daniel great favor with the king and it pained him to throw him into the lion's den. Since the satraps manipulated the king, he was trapped by his own decree and had to punish Daniel. I'm sure many of us are familiar with the wonderful testimony of God's faithfulness and protection. God sent angels to close the mouths of the lions and Daniel walked out of there safe. The king saw the greatness of God and decided to punish the satraps who manipulated him.

Read the next verse carefully:

Daniel 6:24 At the king’s command, the men who had falsely accused Daniel were brought in and thrown into the lions’ den, along with their wives and children. And before they reached the floor of the den, the lions overpowered them and crushed all their bones.

Not only were the satraps destroyed, but their wives and children were destroyed as well. I'm sure the children didn't know the mistake their father made, and I am sure some of the wives were unaware of their husband's plot. Yet all of them were torn to shreds by lions. This is biblical evidence showing the dangers of marrying the wrong man.

Here's another example:

Samson was a strong of God. God blessed him with immense strength. We're talking about a man so strong, when the Spirit of God came on him he killed a lion with his bare hands! God raised him up to free the Israelites from the hands of the Philistines. Samson was on the right track fulfilling the will of God. With a donkey's jawbone he killed 1000 Philistines. For his obedience, God blessed him to be a leader of Israel.

 However Samson had a weakness for women. Not just any woman, he always fell in love with the wrong women. This is where the infamous Delilah stepped into his life. He fell head over heels for her. Seeing her influence over him, the Philistines offered to pay her to set him up so they could capture him. Oh course since Delilah wasn't the right woman for him, she agreed to set him up.


Judges 16:6-21

So Delilah said to Samson, “Tell me the secret of your great strength and how you can be tied up and subdued.”

Samson answered her, “If anyone ties me with seven fresh bowstrings that have not been dried, I’ll become as weak as any other man.”

Then the rulers of the Philistines brought her seven fresh bowstrings that had not been dried, and she tied him with them. With men hidden in the room, she called to him, “Samson, the Philistines are upon you!” But he snapped the bowstrings as easily as a piece of string snaps when it comes close to a flame. So the secret of his strength was not discovered.

Then Delilah said to Samson, “You have made a fool of me; you lied to me. Come now, tell me how you can be tied.”

He said, “If anyone ties me securely with new ropes that have never been used, I’ll become as weak as any other man.”

So Delilah took new ropes and tied him with them. Then, with men hidden in the room, she called to him, “Samson, the Philistines are upon you!” But he snapped the ropes off his arms as if they were threads.

Lets pause. So Samson gave Delilah the incorrect information the first time and she sent the Philistines to get him. He set her up by making her think she had the information she wanted. Now many of us, (and I say us because I remember thinking the same thing when I first read this chapter) are looking at Samson like he's an idiot for even staying with her. But let's put this into a contemporary setting. How many times have we seen ladies on the Maury show seeking a lie detector test after finding a sex tape, the other woman's panties, and the pictures of the the two eating together? We all watch and say to ourselves, "shoot with all of these clues, what do you need a lie detector test for?" It's the same scenario. Samson has the truth, but he's in love with the wrong woman. Every piece of evidence he had wasn't enough because that soul tie he had with her always gave her the benefit of the doubt.

Delilah then said to Samson, “All this time you have been making a fool of me and lying to me. Tell me how you can be tied.”

He replied, “If you weave the seven braids of my head into the fabric on the loom and tighten it with the pin, I’ll become as weak as any other man.” So while he was sleeping, Delilah took the seven braids of his head, wove them into the fabric and tightened it with the pin.

Again she called to him, “Samson, the Philistines are upon you!” He awoke from his sleep and pulled up the pin and the loom, with the fabric.

Then she said to him, “How can you say, ‘I love you,’ when you won’t confide in me? This is the third time you have made a fool of me and haven’t told me the secret of your great strength.” With such nagging she prodded him day after day until he was sick to death of it.

Let's focus on the verse above. This is how the wrong man or woman can manipulate you. Satan tries to repeat a deception over and over hoping you will let your guards down and believe it. This is why the wrong man or woman will constantly use words to hold you in place-- only words. Delilah kept telling Samson, “How can you say, ‘I love you,’ when you won’t confide in me?" Many of us have been through this, and many are going through this right now with the wrong person. The decoy tells you, "it's okay to have sex with me, we're getting married anyway." The first time you hear the lie it sounds absurd, but after the 10th time you've heard it it starts to sound like the right thing God forbid. Whatever the case is, the Delilahs out there only want you for the anointing God gave you, and the very thing they love in you they also hate. Being with the wrong person can threaten your ministry and your gifts because the decoy seeks to push you into compromise. Samson stayed with his decoy and she eventually got him to tell her his weakness.

So he told her everything. “No razor has ever been used on my head,” he said, “because I have been a Nazirite dedicated to God from my mother’s womb. If my head were shaved, my strength would leave me, and I would become as weak as any other man.”

When Delilah saw that he had told her everything, she sent word to the rulers of the Philistines, “Come back once more; he has told me everything.” So the rulers of the Philistines returned with the silver in their hands. After putting him to sleep on her lap, she called for someone to shave off the seven braids of his hair, and so began to subdue him. And his strength left him.

Then she called, “Samson, the Philistines are upon you!”

He awoke from his sleep and thought, “I’ll go out as before and shake myself free.” But he did not know that the Lord had left him.

We all have been here before. We allowed ourselves to be compromised due to the manipulation from a decoy only to be left alone and hurt. Samson was now weak, and that's how many of us feel in those situations. We feel weak because the decoy took a part of us we think we will never get back. For Samson it was his hair. Maybe for you it was your virginity, your self-esteem, or your trust. But keep reading. Even through our mistakes God can get the glory.

Then the Philistines seized him, gouged out his eyes and took him down to Gaza.Binding him with bronze shackles, they set him to grinding grain in the prison. But the hair on his head began to grow again after it had been shaved.

Think of how painful it would be to have your eyes gorged out, leaving you completely blind. This is how it feels after a decoy comes in and steals a part of you. You feel pain followed by blindness as you try to get back on the track you were on with God before that person came into your life. But notice this:

But the hair on his head began to grow again after it had been shaved.

Samson's strength came from his hair. Even though it seemed like he couldn't be weaker, God was actually building him back up slowly, but surely. Many of you may be at this point in your lives. You may think you're going no where because you are not where you were, but God is strengthening you. When He's done with you, you will be in a better place than before. Here's how the Samson story ends. Satan thought he had Samson right where he wanted him. The Philistines were getting prepared to belittle him publicly, and they were praising their gods for delivering Samson into their hands.

Judges 16:28-30 Then Samson prayed to the Lord, “Sovereign Lord, remember me. Please, God, strengthen me just once more, and let me with one blow get revenge on the Philistines for my two eyes.” Then Samson reached toward the two central pillars on which the temple stood. Bracing himself against them, his right hand on the one and his left hand on the other, Samson said, “Let me die with the Philistines!” Then he pushed with all his might, and down came the temple on the rulers and all the people in it. Thus he killed many more when he died than while he lived.

Samson died, but remember his purpose was to deliver the Israelites from the hands of the Philistines. In his captivity God restrengthened him and he did more damage than he did before! God will use your mistake for His glory when you call on Him.

Samson still fulfilled the purpose God set for him, but because of his involvement with Delilah he had to deal with captivity, torture, and blindness to achieve it. Why risk dealing with the wrong man or woman?

There's no need to worry whether or not your husband or wife is out there. God knew your other half before you were created. Stayed focused on Him. So back to our comic book story. You have a mission to complete. Spend your time before the wedding bells focusing on your mission. Make sure you know how to use the superpowers God gave you so you know how to combine it with your partner in crime fighting. The more you know God, the more you know your power. The more you know your power, the more accurate you are at spotting those decoys pretending to have your power. The more you dodge the decoys, the closer you get to your spouse to be. The closer you get to that person, the closer you get to a beautiful powerful ministry God is setting up!

  

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