Marriage is not a game. It is also
not about the wedding dress, the fancy venue, or the honeymoon. It’s so much
bigger than that. Hey I understand. I thought once I turned my life to God I
would instantly say my “I dos” and be off to live my rendition of The Cosby
Show. I couldn’t have been more wrong! Single ladies, God is calling for us to
hold our horses and look up to Him instead of looking around at the single men
at church. The best way to find your husband is to not look for him at all. God
could have it set up for you to meet your husband today, or five years from
now. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter. The more you focus on God, the
more you will see your love life as an abundance of love for all God’s people,
rather than seeing it as a dreadful wait for your husband to arrive.
The way God sees marriage
Let’s take a moment to look at
marriage from God’s prospective. In order to do so, knock the little house on
the hill, dog and picket fence fantasy. The lovely dovey kiss smooch thing is
only a small part of marriage. One of the biggest factors God considered when He
created your husband was what you and he will do to add to His kingdom. If I
could redefine marriage, I would describe it as you and your partner striving
to not only make it to heaven, but to take as many people with you as possible.
You and your husband are to have a ministry together. Now if God hasn’t
revealed your gifts and your ministry yet, take this time to ask God. Your
identity isn’t a wife. You should already have an identity in Christ before
meeting that special one.
Identify your baggage
Erykah Badu said it best in Bag Lady: “One day all them bags gone
get in your way, so pack light." A
lot of you are asking God for your husband and you are not even ready for him!
If God were to send you your husband now, the baggage you’re carrying would
scare him away real quick. Write out a list of your issues you want God to deal
with before it’s time for your husband to come into your life. I will start first. Before I’m ready
for my husband, I need God to rid me of:
-My low self-esteem.
-My fear of intimacy, caused by
previous sexual abuse.
-My fear of rejection.
-My fear of success.
-My tendency to be timid
-Any borders around my heart.
It’s all about humility and
transparency. Be honest with yourself. Write out your list and pray every
morning for God to remove your baggage.
Knock the world’s standards
Now if it were up to me, my flesh
in particular, my husband would have the spirit of David and look like a mix of
Michael Ealy and Common. Now that would be oh so right. I’m only kidding loves!
As attractive as those men are, that is not who I expect to marry someday. The
number one thing to look for in a man is how he loves God. I can’t stress how
important that is. If he doesn’t appreciate God for giving him life and
protecting and providing for him, then how is he going to appreciate you? He
needs to love God in order to love you.
Don’t be afraid to ask God
God is transparent. Anything you
want to know He will tell you. Jesus said in Matthew 7:7-8, “Ask and it will be
given to you, seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who
knocks, the door will be opened.” Every time a guy tries to pursue me I ask God
to reveal if this guy is for me. God answers that prayer every time! The moment
I closed my prayer with an amen, the door-holding gentleman mask instantly fell
off and the man’s true character was exposed.
God sent me an interesting prophetic
dream a few months ago. I was in a classroom taking a test. The students near
me began to tease and bother me and I couldn’t focus. I broke down into tears
and went to this separate room full of peace. There in that room was one guy
taking his test. God put it in my heart that the guy in this room represented
my husband. The moment I realized that, I began to cry harder pulling the
damsel in distress role hoping to get his attention. But he paid me no mind. He
just continued to take his test. So I decided to focus and do the same. As I
was taking the test I could hear someone but the voice was muffled. I finally
took my eyes off of my paper and looked up and saw the guy who represented my
husband waving in my face to get my attention. God revealed to me in that dream
that only when I am focused on the test, (the test representing God) did my
husband come to me. So I’m spreading this priceless wisdom from God. Focus on
Him! We have a lot to do as servants of God so there is plenty to keep you
busy!
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